What do I mean by “Ask, Don’t Tell”?
Well, many leaders tend to tell people what to do instead of asking them questions. I often hear from leaders that they feel compelled to provide answers and solutions, doing the work themselves because it seems quicker. While this might be true in the short term, it’s not sustainable as the organisation grows and demands increase.
Leaders need to empower their teams to find solutions independently.
The power of questions
When leaders simply provide answers, their teams don’t learn or grow. It’s like giving someone a fish instead of teaching them how to fish. If employees don’t learn from these experiences, they’ll continually come back for answers. This approach doesn’t apply to urgent, life-threatening situations but to everyday operations and culture.
By asking questions, you will help your teams think critically and develop problem-solving skills. This method fosters long-term growth and accountability. When people come up with their own ideas, they are more likely to take ownership and pride in their work, much like a parent watching their child excel in sports.
Leader as coach
Think about a leader who asked you questions to help you reach a solution. These leaders are often remembered as encouraging and developmental. This approach is what I call the “leader as coach”. It requires practice and hinges on the quality of questions asked, and giving people space to think and respond.
Allowing time for thoughtful answers might feel awkward, but it’s essential for deep insights and ‘aha’ moments. These moments are significant for personal and professional growth, and people will remember the way you treated and developed them.
Applying the ask, don’t tell approach
The ‘Ask, Don’t Tell’ approach isn’t limited to direct reports; it applies to peers, bosses and even your family. It’s about having coaching conversations through asking, not telling. If you need help in this area, feel free to reach out to me. I offer programs and coaching to help leaders enhance their coaching skills.
Leadership is about adapting to constant change, which can be scary but necessary. These days, the most valued leaders help the people beneath them to grow and develop their own skills.
To improve your skills and confidence as a leader, or discuss training for the leaders within your organisation, book a time to connect.
